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This Is Our Hob Bit

by The Burning Virgins

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WARNING: THIS SONG CONTAINS NAUGHTY WORDS.

Our housemate Paul (nickname Saul) keeps threatening legal action against people that use part of our oven's hob. On an entirely unrelated note, look what's happening at our local pub, "The Hobbit"... www.facebook.com/SaveTheHobbitSouthampton

lyrics

In a hole in the ground there lived a money grabbing shit, by the name of Saul,
He was a horrible man, he was an arse, he was a dick, worse than Fritzl,
And occasionally he’d rear his ugly head, just to ruin other people’s fun,

He had more money than sense, yet still he wanted more, so he came up with a plan,
He would exploit the law to take money from the poor, and fuck the common man,
He would seek out and take legal action against people using an idea that wasn’t even his in the first place, and he would find them using the “Eye of Sue-ron”,

H-O-B,
B-I-T,
When you hear this I know you’ll sue me,
But I don’t care, ‘cos you’re a tit, and you can blow me,

He’ll chase you there and back again, if you use part of an oven, you know the hob bit,
His team of lawyers will make you feel like you’re only three feet tall, then he’ll sue you for that too,
He’s worried people may mistake the pub for a film then they’ll pay money to watch the pub and not the film, quite often on Saturday nights you find people stood outside with popcorn and 3D glasses full of shame and embarrassment,

H-O-B,
B-I-T,
When you hear this I know you’ll sue me,
But I don’t care, ‘cos you’re a tit, and you can blow me,
‘Cos this is our Hob Bit

Ooh, I just got a text from T.O.L.C. Ian [T.O.L.C. stands for “The Oven Licensing Company, and Ian is the man who installed our oven, before he passed away in an unfortunate beetroot related incident]. It says; Hey Steve, I wish Saul would stop being such a chump and just let people enjoy my work. Being dead sux btw. LOL!!

McKellen and Fry are kings of men. Gaiman’s a nice bloke too.

H-O-B,
B-I-T,
When you hear this I know you’ll sue me,
But I don’t care, ‘cos you’re a tit, and you can blow me,
‘Cos this is our Hob Bit

credits

released March 18, 2012
Steve George - Vocals, Bass
Pete Davis - Guitar
Ben Turk - Drums, Guitar

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